I'm sitting here glad that I have recovered from my last AC treatment. But, I must admit, I'm also scared for the next set of weekly Taxol treatments in my near future. They have a new set of rules and conditions for me to learn. Starting a new phase may not be as easy as I had thought it would be. My mind pushes me into scary places... And, I just don't want to go there.
Generally, I've been living my life as "usual"... But, tonight, "it" just seems to be tugging at me for more attention. It doesn't help that I'm reading a book about someone else's path through this nightmare. I had to stop reading. Right now, my eyes are still so blurry from tears that I can barely read what I'm typing.
At the last appointment with the physicians assistant, we discussed that my clinical (pre-surgery) stage was a IIB. Of course, what does this mean? What are my chances of survival? Prognosis and survival rate can depend on a great many things. Type of cancer, treatments, lifestyle, and genetics all play a very important role in being a cancer survivor.
However, there are statistics available that sum up survival rates by breast cancer stage. The following are based on studies of a 5 year survival rate.
Stage 0: 100%
Stage I:100%
Stage IIA: 92%
Stage IIB:81%
Stage IIIA:67%
The prognosis, 81% chance that I will still be here in 5 years is pretty good, I think. But, I'm still scared. There is also that other 19%. And, this is keeping me up tonight...
I'll be better tomorrow... But, for now, I just needed to write and ask for some "extra" prayers. I appreciate all of them and know they will work! I guess I just need some reassurance... Thanks to everyone for being so supportive. I love you!
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Lara,
ReplyDeleteJust know that I carry you with me everyday...
I hope you feel me there with you holding your hand.
Michelle
Hello, my friend!
ReplyDeleteI have talked to my mom a lot about her breast cancer diagnosis, mastectomy and treatment, but she was in a totally different "place" in her life. Despite all the statistics that we all see, everyone is different - and the "statistics and percentages" in all those studies do not factor in the age and "place in life"...numbers just can't do that. We know ourselves better; we don't always fit into a "slot" in someone's study!
I know that your life has been scary lately. I know that you think about your two beautiful children - and the "what if"? I know you think about Doug, your parents and your sisters - to say nothing of all your friends! You have so many people in your life that love you, pray for you, and would do anything they could to give you the best possible outcome.
Lara, you have given SO much of yourself and your time to SO many people...you must know that every one of us is praying for you, and thinking about you every day.
Normally, just hearing the word "cancer" makes people very nervous. Usually, it sends me directly into the "what if" mode. I feel very confident about the path of care you've chosen - and I feel that you will not only survive, but you are (I believe) destined to THRIVE!
About the "numbers and Percentages" - I am never sure why I sometimes allow myself to put more belief in them than in my own instinct and belief system. I know that, as mothers and women, we are equipped with a very strong "survival instinct" - and that supersedes all the averages and percentages that anyone can come up with!
I have always felt that everyone has a different level of determination and survival instinct. That can and will outweigh the statistics every time.
Lara, you amaze me! You have been so strong! Sometimes you NEED to cry, feel angry, go through a little period of doubt, and sometimes even lose a little sleep as you "think things through". I believe that you are going to come through all of this like the strong woman that you are.
Our prayers are with you - always!
Love,
Roxanne
Lara,
ReplyDeleteYou are an extremely strong woman, but it's perfectly okay to cry. Next time, you feel this way, I'm just a phone call away. I don't care what time it is. I will come over. I'm still praying for all the calcifications just to melt away. A miracle can still happen!!
Love,
Jenny
Thanks.... I'm much stronger today. I should expect that I will get scared from time to time. But, it's great to have friends like you to lift my spirits and to give me perspective! Thanks bunches!!! =)
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